When you have multiples, you know that inevitably there will be a time where you have to decide to keep them together, or split them up in school.
I always thought we would split in Kindergarten. Then I thought, no I'm chicken & they are so interdependent, maybe we'll wait until 1st grade. Or until they say they are ready. Or....never.
Then.... daycare wanted to conference with us last week!
They do a bump up to the 4 year old pre-school class in August & wanted to discuss with us our options. There are 4 4 year old classes, so we can split them if we choose. They offered us to split when we started last October & we said no without batting an eye. This time, it took more thought.
We sat down with their teacher & she showed us an "academic evaluation" of each of them. Which went fine. They were more concerned about the fact that they all listen, follow directions, participate & try than what they actually know or don't know. She said "If all my kids listened, picked up & shared as well as yours do, I could have 30 kids in my class no problem." *blush* Wish those skills carried over at home! She said, they try to sit kids who don't listen well or share well by them to try to use them as peer examples. again, *blush* They are at different levels of mastering their alphabet, numbers, pre-writing skills, identifying patterns, cutting & some other skills but I love Mrs. Beth & that she started out by saying "I don't want this to seem like I'm comparing them because I'm not. They are all unique individuals & learn different things at different speeds & in different orders." LOVE HER!! Wish they could be in her 3 year old class forever.
They do a bump up to the 4 year old class in August & again in December. And even though my preemies only go 2 days a week, and just started in October, they feel they are ready & have no concerns about them moving up to what they call the Pre-K class.
The biggest discussion was about their interdependence. Olivia, who at home we joke has to hit 1000 words by 10am, hardly talks at school. They ask her questions & she says "no thank you" instead of answering. Or she repeats whatever Logan said. Or she just looks at them over her glasses like "yeah, never gonna happen." Logan raises his hand, answers eagerly, and does the best of being his own person. Hayden falls somewhere in between. So it became a debate if putting them in separate classes will "force" her to speak for herself or if it will cause her to shut down even more.
Logan I think would be fine in his own class. Hayden will do so-so. It's Olivia I don't know what will be best for. Remember, it took this girl 12 weeks to PEE there!
After days of debating pros & cons, we finally decided.....to split them.
It makes me gag in my mouth a little bit every time I say it. I have to keep reminding myself, if they were singletons, they would be alone & they would be fine. They will be fine. And its only 2 days a week!
The biggest weigh in on the decision from my viewpoint is that they will have 2 years in this pre-K class. So if they get nothing else out of this year than learning some self-independence, they will still have the next year to master their pre-K skills before heading off to Kindergarten. And, if this year is horrible, miserable & a huge flop... well we learned before we got to Kindergarten, where it's
real school & it "really" matters.
The next issue was that each class has a partner class that they do outside time with, some special activities with, etc. So 2 kids will get to see each other during the day & not the 3rd. {Guess we should of had quads} That decision sucks more than the decision to split. It seems so harsh & unfair. We think Logan will do the best, so initially we thought about paring H & O in the classes to see each other, but then we worried any mid-day splits would be hard on them & give a potential for tears all over again. So ultimately we decided it should be Logan & Olivia. Hayden & Olivia have more similar personalities & play together at home a lot. Hayden & Logan play together too & share a room & have a pretty obvious boy-bond. But we rarely see Logan & Olivia off together. So we decided they would be most likely to continue to maintain independence if put together for any activities & this might encourage them, who have the least obvious bond, to spend some time together.
As much as they all fight at home some days, I'm hoping some time apart will help them appreciate each other a little more at home. {I'm trying to justify my decision here, bear with me.}
I know its going to be a rough, rough couple weeks or probably months as they transition in. Makes me glad I'm not the drop off parent! Mrs. Beth is the one who walks them down to their new class the first day, but I imagine drop offs in the many days to follow will be tricky. At least they get dropped off together in the play gym, so they can have each other for a while before the school day begins.
We've spent the last couple of days since our decision trying to talk this up to them. "You're getting so big you get your OWN teacher." "You won't have to share your teacher with your brother/sister." "I'm going to be so proud of you getting so big." Bla, bla, bla!
Logan is buying in. Or at least he says he's excited. Hayden told me tonight he doesn't think Mrs. Beth will think this is a good idea. So I told him to ask her next time. He said "I will. I hope she say no!" And Olivia sometime says "I hope I get to be in __{enter other friend's name}___ class." and other times is very outspoken against it.
Say some prayers. Its going to be interesting.
I think this is happening August 19th already!
Change is good, right?